therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
