i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
