I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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