Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can't turn off my feet"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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