I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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