Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
