i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize