Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
