'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
