It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
