Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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