i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
