alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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