I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
