did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
