so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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