I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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