Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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