you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
