u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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