I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
