My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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