rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it glows. i had to have it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
