Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
