that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
