bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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