Me too!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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