At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
