she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
This house was built for laser tag.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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