sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
