Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
