so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
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