ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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