i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize