He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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