she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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