You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
