I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
