you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
