do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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