i may or may not be watching the land before time
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
