Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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