Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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