Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You're like the curious george of whores
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
