You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
