just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
