I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
