Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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