but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
