There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Gay?
German.
Pity.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize