i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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