I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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