That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
