how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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