I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
