let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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