Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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